2 [more] things I’ve learned recently
1.) Your happiness isn’t anyone else’s responsibility; your unhappiness isn’t anyone else’s fault
As humans, we have the propensity to be responsible for nothing, while taking credit wherever we can. When things go sour, we blame ourselves a little bit sometimes, but the final blame almost always rests on something or someone else. ”So-and-so did this to me and now I’m miserable.” But when things are great, we brag about it as if it’s our own accomplishment. ”I have a great job and I ran a 5-minute mile last week.”
Think about this. If you truly believe your being happy is your own doing, then doesn’t it stand to reason that your being unhappy is too? And then doesn’t it stand to reason that you have the ability to turn that frown upside down and make yourself happy?
2.) Your self-worth should not depend on others’ value of you
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. However, we must free ourselves of the NEED to be liked and learn to derive our self-esteem from internal support. Otherwise, you surrender yourself to the mercy of others’ feelings and opinions about you.
Being in a serious relationship definitely affects one’s self-esteem and perceived self-worth. Making someone else happy is a wonderful feeling and is extremely validating; you think, “I’m being me and someone absolutely LOVES me for it, supports me, wants to be around me and admires everything I do!” It truly is a great feeling.
HOWEVER, we must be tread carefully here because it’s too easy to make that the sole foundation to our self-worth. If and when that relationship ends, all footing will be lost and self-esteem shattered.
It’s important to recognize that someone’s admiration and love of you is because of who you are! You aren’t who you are BECAUSE that person admires you. Validated or not, you are the great person you are.
